It's Been Too Long

My internet has been out so I've been unable to post anything since. I've just gotten it fixed and it's time I've updated you.
Sex with Scott was odd because emotionally, I wanted to lose my virginity to Stan. However Scott's more experienced. Apparently, I'm very small so it was incredibly painful. Scott knew what to do because of his experience. But when he was on top, he tended to put his face over my shoulder, kind of burying it into the pillow. When he did this, I felt awkward and kind of unwanted or not so pretty. We didn't really talk for the whole 40 minutes. We weren't even naked. I still had my bra on and he kept his shirt on. I felt weird. Afterwards, we ate at Waffle House and he took me home.
I felt very unfulfilled. I wasn't worried about having and orgasm or anything. I just felt like if Stan had Scott's experience, I would've chosen Stan in a heartbeat. At times, I feel like a whore when I think about this but I admit that just hours after Scott dropped me off, Stan picked me up to have sex. I lost my virginity twice that day. With Scott, it was just a warm up, to... stretch me I suppose. With Stan, I felt comfortable. There was foreplay before clothes came off. We could talk during it all. Some times we even laughed during sex because something awkward happened. That night with him was amazing. I was on top, leaning over Stan. I asked why was he staring(he stares at me a lot, not just during sex, but I always ask why). He told me I was beautiful. I just smiled at him. The whole hour we were having sex, he looked at me. He tried to please me, which he succeeded. He uttered compliments to me. I didn't feel so small and exposed anymore. We showered together again. We ended up having to use mouthwash because of the oral sex we'd performed on each other haha. But then we kissed. A lot. And after, we cuddled. It was very intimate. Very nice. Even though at the time we were just friends with benefits, I liked him very much and I liked him holding me. Stan had told me that if I ever found a guy in college that satisfied me more than him, he'd kick their ass. I couldn't help but laugh. He drove me home that night. He didn't want me getting in trouble. He held my hand. He was the first guy to hold hands with me. And I felt very relaxed and happy with that.
We've had sex a few more times since and Scott and I haven't talked much since my deflowering. However, nowadays, Scott and I are merely friends. No benefits. I feel much more at ease with that decision.
This past Sunday, Stan and I were hanging out at my sister's place. My sister and brother in law were talking in their room. Stan and I were in the living room with my nephew hanging out. We were cuddling most of the time. I was sitting between his legs on the floor and I'd told him I'd never been on a date before. He nudged me forward, and turned me so he could look me in the eyes. He asked, "Really?" I nodded. He then decided that we were going on a date the next day. He took me to a Mexican restuarant where we laughed. Then we went for a long drive to a certain part of this town where everything was kept as it was 200 years ago. It was a tiny square with stores and a little motel. He put his arm around me, and I him, and we walked around the square, talking and laughing. He loves making me laught and I love laughing. We kissed sometimes. No tongue, not on the first date. Afterwards, he took me to Sonic where we got some ice cream. Out of habit, he took me to his home, where we've had sex quite a bit for two people who'd just lost their virginity. Or in my opinion at least. We cuddled. We kissed. I played tease. He played pussy whipped. Or that's how he puts it at least. We'd agreed that we'd have to restrain ourselves, him more than me, from having sex on the first date. Even though we'd done it plenty. We kissed while lying on his bed, only making sex more tempting. On the ride home, I stroked his face, feeling the stubble. We'd agreed that we needed to talk. If we're friends with benefits who act like we're dating, or if we're actually dating.
Two nights ago, we had sex. Again. And we were cuddling watching Sons of Anarchy. There were times he had to cover my eyes because of the gore. We had a short discussion on our status. We both knew that neither of us want a long distance relationship. I'm going to college in just a few days. He's leaving for Pennsylvania in a week or 2 because of work. He'll be gone for 3 weeks. Despite that, I wanted to try. He was ok with that. He kissed me, chuckled and called me his girlfriend.
Today, his parents come home from their work trip. So we don't get to see each other just about everyday. He doesn't have the same freedom.
Nonetheless, writing long blog entries about him make it ok because I can savor the good times.