Lovebirds

Friday was our one month anniversary. It's not that important to either of us really. I sent him balloons though, just to be thoughtful.
Stan came by Friday, not too long before my roommate left to go home for the weekend. Lexy, my roommate, left that afternoon. Stan and I had sex, like we normally do. And we cuddled. We kissed more than we ever had before. Sometimes he'd say his heart skipped a beat. Stan said that when you're heart skips a beat, it means you're nervous. I asked him why he was nervouse. He said that he didn't know. I knew why though. I knew he wanted to say that he loved me. I didn't tell him I suspected though. I just kissed him, hoping it'd make him feel better.
That night we used our last two condoms and then went to eat. It was already 9 o'clock at night. We went to pick up some more condoms at Walmart though. He was tired though. He told me that when he came to visit on Thursday, he fell asleep while driving. It scared me. He called his mom and let her know that he was spending the night. Not only because he was tired, but because he wanted to be with me.
We had sex one more time before falling asleep together, naked and on the floor. Well actually he had his boxers on. Around 5 AM, he went to sleep on the couch because his leg fell asleep. I stayed on the floor. When I woke up, I put my blanket on him and took a shower. When I came back, he was still sleeping. I got dressed and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled in his slumber, which made me smile. I sat next to him on the floor and started doing little abstract doodles. Stan woke up. More cuddling, sex, talking, laughing and napping. We didn't leave my dorm until 3:30 that afternoon. We left to see a movie, a scary one. There were some parts I couldn't watch. We came back to the dorm, so I could use the bathroom. Why he didn't stop at a gas station, I don't know haha, but we ended up having sex again so it didn't really matter. Both of us noticed that we felt weak. It was probably because neither of us had eaten all day, other than the popcorn at the movies. We'd finished, we cuddled and then left to eat.
I never cease to surprise him when I tell him I haven't been somewhere. Last night was my first visit to the restaurant On the Border. He took me back to my dorm. He had to go home. Still though, we sat in his truck, kissing and touching. He told me he was nervous again, that his heart skipped a beat again. I told him, as if I didn't know intuitively, that it might be because he's denying something or is afraid. After a little bit, he told me he knew why he was nervous, but he was afraid of what I'll say. We touched foreheads. We talked a bit about different things. I remember telling him that I had feelings for him before we slept together. I also remember him saying that he's afraid because of the timing, he thought it was too early in the relationship to be feeling as strongly for me as he did. He was afraid to tell me because the last time he fell in love, it hurt him so horribly. I told him it'd kill me if I hurt him like that. I moved to be closer to him and held his face as our foreheads touched. I told him that I loved him too. I told him that we don't have a normal relationship because we started out as friends with benefits, very intimate ones at that. It's different, timing is different.
It's nothing like Scott, when I was afraid to tell him those same three words, not because of nervousness, but because of doubt. Or when Scott told me those words, a negative feeling came across me.
With Stan, I just wanted to kiss him, and hold him. Later that night, we were texting and when he told me goodnight, he added at the end "I love you." I just smiled and my mood rose.