Is "ponderings" an actual word? Haha heck if I know, but oh well. I've been thinking about college. I kind of hate how I have to leave my baby brother behind. He needs help with his homework. I'm not the best teacher or sister, but he still needs someone. I really hope that my sisters will take up the slack.
I'm leaving behind the stresses of my family, for the stress of college and sex with Scott, who said he wanted to act as my boyfriend at college. Remember I said act. It's all complicated and it's not my place to post it all over the internet. Anywho, I think it's a fair trade off.
I'm clingy. I hate that I am. And I hate how most people don't really realize that I am, but whoever makes me happy consistently, I hold onto them. I want to always talk to them. It's like an addiction. I'll want to make contact with them over and over again. It's how I'm feeling about Scott right now. I resist it though. I try to think about something else. Or sometimes I just take naps. The beauty of summer eh?
I worry about college. How I'll do, how it will be losing my virginity to Scott and all the other times he and I will be involved in hanky panky, how weird it'll be sharing a room with a stranger oh and the community bath. Yes, my dorm hall has a community bath. It sounds unpleasant. But I emailed the housing people and they told me that all bathrooms in this dorm hall are community baths. Each hallway gets its own passcode locked bathroom that contains both commodes and showers, as well as sinks for doing hair, etc. While some people aren't used to this, the actual chances of seeing more than even one other person in the restroom at the same time is fairly low. A bonus to this type of bathroom is that it's professionally cleaned each day by a janitorial staff.
Yay for not cleaning! It's the last thing I need to add to my list of things to do to maintain cleanliness sanity.
Of course, I'm sure it'll be odd bringing my fish tank to the community bath just to clean and change its water. That'll be an interesting sight I bet. I dread transporting my Beta fish though. I hope it doesn't die in the process, I would hate having to tell my friends who gave me the fish that it died while I was taking it to college with me.
I should do it via text haha
"I regret to inform you that Cannibal has died. Its death was caused by the stress of moving from a computer desk in my room to a dorm an hour away. I'm sorry for your loss."
That'd be so wrong, but I'd still find it a bit funny. I'd get me a new beta fish though. They're so pretty!
I really hope to not get lost to my classes either. I don't even know where they're located. I'm really worried. I will really be referring to an upperclassman mentor. I just need to find one first! Haha. I will get so lost. -Sigh-
Tonight, I think that's about it.
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