Craving Something More

I vehemently believe that I'm not creative.
I can create things that no one can seem to imitate or even comprehend how it's done, but I don't see it as creativity.
Click here to see my art gallery.
I only call it art because other people do. Art should make you stop and stare at it, even if it's only a second. It should make your eyes wander over it. I don't think my art does that. It makes people say "Oh that's cool," and move on. It's only "cool" because I'm their friend and because they've probably never seen anything like it. I need to learn how to create my visions into a reality. Photoshop is something I'm pretty good at, but I'm not that talented. I know enough though. Even so, I don't have the patience to learn how to draw in photoshop. I'm one to take shortcuts.
My poetry is ok, I suppose. I keep hearing that it captures emotion well, or something of that sort, but it's not exactly what I feel. If anything, my emotion is understated. I could be feeling a fiery rage enough to light my keyboard on fire, but as I type my poetry, it's just a bit more than a smolder in my poetry.
However, how are my readers to know that? In my poetry, that's what it seems that I'm feeling.
I seem to lack the ability to translate what I see in my head to something I've created. It's my own fault for not trying harder. For not doing more to learn how to do this or that. However, I've learned that I'm not so bad at drawing a woman's profile, of their face that is. Shading is my weak point. To the untrained eye, you don't even notice it. To someone who knows art, well they can tell you that there needs to be more contrast and more shading.
I crave to do something less abstract, something more meaningful. Something I'd be proud to show someone. Is it sad that I've been getting more and more ashamed of my abstract art? That I've become less and less fulfilled with it?
If you talk to any artist who can draw something they see in a room in 10 minutes, they probably wouldn't see much fulfillment in it either. It was just a quick sketch to them. To others, it's detailed and captured the image perfectly. For me, every single one of those abstract artpieces took me about 10 minutes, some times more and most times less, and I find it frustrating that it's not the kind of art I want to create, but it's the only kind I'm good at.
Is it obvious I'm self pitying? I really can't help it. It's one of my character flaws. One of the many.
I ramble about the same old stuff don't I?
If not Scott, then college, if not college, than friends, if not friends than family, if not family than art.
Sometimes drivers ed too.
I suffer a life of monotony.
It could be worse. It could be a life of hardship.